


Sure am, pal

by SokkasGirl



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Canon Era, Davey needs a hug, Depression, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Racetrack is a good friend, Suicidal Thoughts, poor Davey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:49:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SokkasGirl/pseuds/SokkasGirl
Summary: Four years after the strike ended, Katherine is giving birth to her and Jack's first child. Everyone is ecstatic, but Davey can't bring himself to be happy for them. Being in love with someone who will never love you back is never easy andthinking about before Jack and Katherine got together made Davey happy. While waiting for Jack to get back from the hospital, Davey remembers something that Race told Weasel back on his first day as a newsie. And suddenly, Davey is looking at Race in a whole new light.Based off the Broadway show with influence from the movie.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic took an expected turn for me. It had been inspired by that part of the show where Jack is showing everyone the old printing press. Davey gives Jack a look and to me that look said "I love you." That look had inspired this fic but it turned into something that I didn't mean for it to. So, whoops. 
> 
> Also, I don't ship show Davey and Jack that much and I've never even thought about Davey and Race even remotely being a thing but somehow that's what kind of ended up happening here? 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone :) so I uploaded this chapter a couple months ago and I recently saw an amateur production of Newsies at a local theatre and despite being insanely busy with school, I've been inspired to continue writing. I've edited this chapter on 9/30/18 so if you read this chapter before then, you'll be happy to know there aren't really any changes. I just fixed some spelling mistakes and some wording but everything else is the same. I'm gonna go back and edit the rest of the story as well and hopefully I'll have a new chapter up by the end of the week. Thanks for all the patience with this!

Davey could tell you the exact moment he realized he had feelings for Jack. It was when Jack was taking them down to the cellar to show them that old printing press, back when they were on strike. They were walking down the stairs when suddenly this feeling of happiness overwhelmed his every thought. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jack, Jack, Jack. 

Jack Kelly. Damn that boy.

Davey couldn’t help the “It’s good to have you back again,” that slipped out of his mouth. His heart had swelled with an unexplainable feeling when Jack retorted with a “Shuddup,” and the stupid grin just wouldn’t disappear from Davey’s face. It was after that moment that Davey knew he was screwed. 

Being queer was illegal. If anybody caught wind of his feelings- his friends, the cops, Jack- he’d be shipped off straight to Bellevue’s Insane Asylum. He couldn’t do that to his folks or to Les. For them to know that Davey was queer and that they had been living with a queer person under their roof, they’d be so embarrassed and so damn ashamed. It wasn’t like they weren’t persecuted enough. Being Jewish in this day and age was tough. But being Jewish and queer? Forget about it. If anyone found out, he’d be lucky if he weren’t killed. 

After the strike had ended, things seemed to go pretty well for everyone. Davey and Les kept selling, Katherine was hired by her father to write, and the rest of the boys were happy to be able to take extra papes and not worry about if they were gonna have to eat ‘em. It gave everyone great pleasure to bring back unsold papes to Weasel and the Delancey Brothers. Sometimes some of the boys, like Race and Albert would specifically buy extra papes just so they could see the looks of their faces when they had to give them a full refund. It gave everyone a laugh. 

And as great as everything was, Davey hardly saw Jack anymore. They had only known each other for two weeks by the time the strike ended, but Davey was sure they’d be friends for the rest of their lives. And while Davey had been right, he also felt like their friendship meant something completely different to him than it did to Jack. If he thought too much about it, he’d be stuck in bed for days. 

It was mindboggling to think that now, four years later, he was sitting at home with Race, Albert, and Spot waiting for Jack to come back from the hospital. Davey tried not to think about how much it hurt his heart to know that Katherine was at Bellevue right now having her and Jack’s baby. 

Back when Jack had told them he wanted to propose, Davey tried to be as supportive as he could. Everyone was ecstatic, but it was like Davey’s mind went blank. He couldn’t focus on anything. All the excited chattering and happy faces all went away and he was lost in his own head. It wasn’t like he didn’t see it coming. He knew how much Jack and Katherine loved each other. But he couldn’t help that small bit of jealousy that crept into his heart every time he thought about Jack and Katherine together. He rembered when he saw Jack and Katherine kiss for the first time- after they had won the strike. They had known each other just about as long as Davey and Jack did. Yet, Jack fell in love with Katherine and not Davey. He didn’t want to be sour about it because they were perfect for each other, they really were. And why would Jack get feelings for Davey? The world would turn topsy turvey if Jack Kelly suddenly said he were queer.

Not for the first time in his life, Davey had wished that they were living in a different world. A world where queer people weren’t sent away and treated for something that they couldn’t help. Davey was almost 100% sure that the way he felt about men, the way it came so naturally to him the same way breathing did, was the same way non-queer men thought about women. Unfortunately, society didn’t believe that. Davey wished he could at least tell Jack how he was feeling without the fear that Jack would throw him to the cops. Knowing Jack, Davey doubted he would do that. But you never know with this sort of thing. So there Davey was, sitting at home in his tiny apartment that he shared with Race, Spot, and Albert waiting for Jack to come back. 

It might be hours, Jack had said. And he was right. Jack had left eight hours ago. But he told them he would wait every second in the lobby of that hospital till he knew his wife and child were both okay. As a result, the four boys were left bored out of their minds. Usually on Tuesday nights, they would all go out to Medda’s and catch her show. It was the one day in the week that all the former newsies, and Les, were able to meet up. Instead, Jack had cancelled, and everyone was forced to go around and do their own thing. Some of the boys had still gone to Medda’s. Some of the boys didn’t bother showing up since Jack wasn’t going. Some of the boys went and found other ways to entertain themselves. And Davey was considering telling the boys he was queer so they could drag him down to Bellevue, just so they could all be in the same place as Jack and Kath. 

It was in times like these that Davey tried to think back to when things were much simpler. By that, he meant before the end of the strike. Before Jack and Katherine really knew each other. 

Suddenly, a distant memory came to his mind. It was back from his first day as a newsie. He had been waiting behind Crutchie and Crutchie had been behind Race. Davey remembered clearly what Race had said when trying to talk Weasel into spotting him some papes. “I’ll call you sweetheart if you spot me 50 papes…whatever happened to romance?” Davey felt his blood run cold. Before, he thought Race was joking around. Davey had been new and didn’t know any of the boys. Based on how he saw Jack talking to Weasel and how Weasel talked to all of them, Davey had thought that Race was just messing around. But what if Race was serious about his offer? Had Race been offering sex in exchange for papers? Was Race queer? 

Davey couldn’t help it when his eyes moved away from the book he was supposed to be reading and slid over to where Race was. He was lounging in an old armchair reading the evening paper that he had bought from Les. Davey observed him. He didn’t look queer. But then again, Davey supposed, that he didn’t either. What did queer even look like? Maybe that explained Race’s oral fixation with the cigar. Maybe chewing on a cigar was his way of coping with not being able to put his mouth on…other things. Davey had heard about what queer men do to each other. He had never experienced it for himself, but he knew that sometimes men would put their mouths on other men’s private parts. It apparently felt good and damn it if Davey didn’t want someone to do that to him. The idea of what it must feel like, warm and wet, did things to Davey. Things that had him praying and begging God for forgiveness. 

Davey immediately looked away from Race. Davey’s pants were getting tight just thinking about it and he was afraid his friend would notice if he kept staring at him. Davey was glad Spot and Albert were outside playing Jacks, or else he was sure they would have noticed. What would Race do if he looked over and saw that Davey’s pants were tight? Would he even notice? Would he offer to help him out? Would he pretend he didn’t see it? Would he soak him? Davey didn’t want to find out. Too bad there wasn’t really anywhere else to go in the apartment. The only other place he could go was the bedroom. But it they weren’t going to bed and it wasn’t his night to sleep in the room, so he was stuck sitting on the couch supporting a hard-on. 

Davey was just trying to figure out a comfortable position to sit in when Race looked over to him. “Hey, Dave? What’s auspicious mean again? I always forget.” Davey quickly grabbed the book he had been reading and threw it over his lap. Race was looking at him with such wide blue eyes. His hair was all messy over the top of his head, the curls lightly framing his face. And oh, the cigar. Race put it back in his mouth after he was done talking. It was drooping from the side of his mouth and Davey was transfixed. Race’s mouth curled around it, and Davey could almost feel the way his teeth helped to keep it in place. And oh, what his tongue must be doing. 

Davey knew he had probably been staring for too long because Race cleared his throat. “Davey, you alright?” Race sat up straight in the chair folding the newspaper down the middle, with the ease of someone who had plenty of practice doing just that. He looked concerned. And thank God, Race had put the cigar in his hand. God knows that he would have trouble focusing if Race had left it in his mouth. 

“Huh?” Davey blinked. “What did you say again? Sorry I was…distracted by this book,” Davey said, barely able to get through his sentence. He quickly picked up his book from his lap and held it up so Race could see. Race smirked, looking down at Davey’s lap. 

“Must be some book.” Davey looked down, mortified. He quickly pushed the book back over his erection and had to bite back a groan at the shock of pleasure that ran up his spine. He looked back at Race, panicked. Race just winked at him then placed his cigar back in his mouth, threw his legs over the armrest, and opened back up the newspaper like nothing even happened. Davey barely had a second to process what just happened before Spot and Albert burst through the front door. 

“Jack’s back,” Albert yelled, breathless. “We just saw him coming down the block.” Albert bent over placing his hands on his knees gasping for air. 

“Yeah. And he had the stupidest smile on his face,” Spot added. “He should be here soon. He wasn’t too far behind us.” As if right on cue, Jack flew through the open door. 

Spot was right. He did have the stupidest smile on his face. “It’s a boy!” He yelled. Race, Albert, and Spot all went to pat Jack on the back. Suddenly, Davey no longer had to worry about an embarrassing erection being noticed. Davey tossed his book to the floor. There was a round of congratulations before Jack noticed that Davey wasn’t celebrating with them. Jack’s smile immediately dropped. 

“Hey, Dave,” Jack said coming over and shoving Davey’s head the same way Davey sometimes did to Les. “What’s the matter? Ain’t you happy for me? I’m a father!” Jack said, beaming with pride. 

Davey tried to gather his thoughts but only managed to not flinch at the mention of Jack being a father. “Oh, yeah,” Davey said, lamely. “Congratulations. Give my love to Kath when you see her again.” Nobody said anything. Davey cursed that he was such a bad actor. He wished more than anything that the floor would open up and swallow him whole. “I’m excited, really. I just can’t believe a street rat like you is father!” Davey said, trying to lighten the mood. The other boys joined in and started to tease Jack. Davey tried to keep the fake smile he had going, at least long enough till Jack left. Even when Jack started to fight back a little at the teasing, Davey could tell that Jack was concerned. He kept eyeing him and Davey knew that if the other boys weren’t around, then Jack would have asked him what was really bothering him. Why did Jack have to be such a good friend? And why did Davey have to be in love with him? 

It was only another 20 minutes before Jack decided to head home for some shut-eye. He wanted to be at Bellevue first thing in the morning to spend the day with Kath and their newborn son, not that he was sure he’d even be allowed to do that, but he sure was going to try. Since it was only 9:53 P.M., Albert and Spot decided that they’d go out and grab a couple drinks to celebrate the newest arrival into their ragtag family. They said a couple of the other boys were also going out on the town and they were hoping to catch up with them and pass on the news. Davey prayed and prayed and prayed that Race would go with them, but when Spot asked, Race said he was feeling pretty tired and wanted to turn in early. Spot and Albert didn’t question it and left the apartment about 5 minutes after Jack. 

As soon as the door was shut behind them, Race turned on him. Davey could feel his face heating up and his palms started to sweat. “You feelin’ alright there, Dave?” Race asked. It was an innocent enough question, but it made Davey’s heart race. 

“Sure am, pal,” Davey said, wiping his hands on his pants. “Why do you ask?” 

Race came around and stood in front of him. “You didn’t seem too happy when Jack came to tell us the good news,” Race said. “What’s wrong? Are you ill or something?” Race stuck his hand out with the intention to place it on Davey’s forehead and check his temperature. Davey quickly scooted out of the way. 

“I’m fine,” Davey insisted as he held his hands up to block Race from coming any closer. Davey’s stomach dropped when Race gave him a suspicious look. 

“Are you sure? Cause you’ve been acting funny,” Race said. 

“No I haven’t,” Davey said with wide eyes. Why did he have to be so bad at lying? 

“Fine,” Race said, crossing his arms. “Let’s not talk about that anymore.” Davey sighed in relief. “Let’s talk about what happened before Jack got home. Ya know, the thing you were trying to cover up with your book.” And Davey felt his face heat up. 

“T-there’s nothing t-to talk about,” Davey stuttered. “N-nothing at all.” Davey winced. Even if he wasn’t such a bad liar, Race had seen it with his own eyes. Damn it. There was no getting out of this one. 

“Yeah, okay,” Race scoffed. “Who were you thinking about?” Race squatted in front of Davey, his eyes wide with curiosity. 

“No one!” Davey yelled. Damn it, he really needed to keep his mouth shut. 

“Yeah right. I don’t believe you. You’d gotta be thinkin’ of someone,” Race pressed. Davey sighed. 

“I can’t tell you,” Davey mumbled. 

“Yeah? And why not?” 

“Cause you’ll soak me.” Race cocked his head at Davey, confused. 

“Why would I soak you?” And Davey knew he messed up. He didn’t know how to continue this conversation. There was Race, all but pressed up against Davey’s legs, asking him who he had been thinking about when he had gotten hard. With his shiny blue eyes lit up with curiosity and his blond hair so perfectly placed on top of his head. Davey wanted to touch it. 

He tried to mentally shake himself of those thoughts. He had never ever thought of Race like this before. In fact, Davey was pretty sure he was only thinking of Race like this because he was sad about Jack and because he thought Race might be queer. Those weren’t very good reasons to start developing feelings for someone- not that Davey thought he was developing real feelings for Race. Just one specific intense desire for Race to get down on his knees and put his mouth on him. Davey wanted to scream. 

He needed to do something before Race noticed that he was getting hard again. “Dave, are you o-” Before Davey even knew what he was doing, he had pushed himself forward off their ratty old sofa and covered Race’s mouth with his. The force of Davey throwing himself off the couch and the fact that Race had only been balancing on the balls of his feet resulted in the two of them falling backwards. When they hit the floor, Race’s head hit the ground hard and their teeth clanged together. Their faces separated with a painful “ah” and Race clutched the back of his head. 

“What the hell is wrong with you Dave?” Race groaned, his eyes squeezed shut. 

“I’m sorry,” Davey said getting off of Race and scooting back till his back was pressed against the sofa. “I’m so sorry.” Davey sat there in the most anxious state of his life while he waited for Race to get a grip on his pain. Slowly, Race blinked and pushed himself up onto his elbows. He glared at Davey. 

“Do you know what would have happened if the wrong person had walked in on that?” Race asked angrily. “We woulda been shipped off to Bellevue to get our heads fixed. Or just thrown in prison. You can’t just kiss a guy like that.” Race rubbed his eyes and pushed himself all the way up into a sitting position. He looked at Davey. Davey looked back. He was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do. 

“Davey?” Race asked slowly. “Do you got the hots for me?” Davey was breathing hard and shallow breaths at this point. He was legitimately afraid that he would pass out. 

Davey started to feel a burn behind his eyes. The annoying type of burn that tells you you’re about to cry. Davey pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. “I don’t know!” Davey cried. “I didn’t used to. I-I just- Please don’t kill me!” Davey sobbed. “I’m too young to die!” Davey couldn’t help the tears that burned a trail down his face. Race was nice and all, but he was close with Spot. Over the past few years that Race and Spot have been friends, Davey would have been shocked if Spot hadn’t taught Race how to give someone a good soaking- the Brooklyn way.

“Jeez, relax will ya? I ain’t going to kill you.” That made Davey pause and look at Race. 

“You’re not?” Davey asked, confused. “But-but I kissed you. You know I’m queer. Why aren’t you gonna kill me?” Davey’s eyes widened with fear. “You’re gonna turn me in to the cops!” Before Davey could start spiraling, Race reached out and placed a hand on Davey’s knee. 

“I ain’t tellin’ no one nothing. This’ll be our little secret,” Race said leaning up to give Davey a chaste kiss. He pulled back and reached behind him to grab his cigar that had flung out of his hand when Davey tackled him. Davey sat there with his head buzzing. He couldn’t believe it. He was right! Race was queer. He couldn’t believe he had been friends with a queer person this entire time! This was just about the best thing that could ever happen. Now Davey knew he wasn’t alone. He and Race were in this together. 

Race stood up and held out his hand to Davey. Davey grabbed it and Race hoisted him up. “Uh, thanks,” Davey said. 

“Of course, pal.” Race winked and put the cigar back in his mouth. Race smirked when Davey groaned. He really needed to get a hold of himself. 

“Hows about we get some shut eye?” Race suggested. “You take the bed, I’ll take the couch.” Davey shook his head in protest. 

“No, it’s your night to have the bed.” Their apartment only had one bedroom. On their first night living there, they had drawn names out of a hat to determine the order the boys would take turns sleeping in the bedroom. They had a nice comfy mattress that Katherine was going to throw out when she and Jack moved into their new place. The boys had snatched it up, refusing to let something like that go to the rats. Nobody in the past year that’d they’d lived in the apartment had passed up their night to sleep in the bedroom. It was comfortable and private. And- oh! That’s why Race was offering to let Davey have his night. 

“No really, Race, you don’t have to do that for me,” Davey insisted. “It’s your night, you take the bed.” 

Race looked like he was contemplating whether to argue or not before sighing and giving in. “Yeah, okay. Fine. I’ll take the bed,” Race said as he started walking to the room. “But if you need some help taking care of that…problem that you’ve been havin’ recently, I’d be more than happy to give you a hand.” Race stepped into the room and right before he closed the door, he turned and looked Davey dead in the eye. He had the most wicked gleam in his eye as he said, “Or a mouth.” Race popped his cigar back into his mouth, gave Davey a wink, and shut the door. 

Davey knew as he lied down on the couch that he wouldn’t be getting much sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm gonna be honest, I'm not really happy with my writing in this chapter. I just figured I'd go ahead and post it so that I can move on with my day and with the story. I had wanted to get this posted by Sunday, it's Tuesday now, but that didn't happen. What was supposed to be a quick 10 minute thing picking my sister up from the airport turned into me waiting at the airport for 7 hours in my pjs with nothing more than my phone to entertain me. I've also been crazy busy with dance but I just really wanted to get this chapter up. I apologize because I don't think it's my best work, but I'm really excited for what I've got planned for this story.
> 
> Thank you so much for being patient and enjoy! :)
> 
> 10/2/18: I just edited the chapter a little bit. If you read it before 10/2, then don't worry about it. It was just small grammatical things and wording that I changed. The plot is still exactly the same.

The next morning, Davey was disgusted to find a mess in his pants. This sort of thing hadn’t happened to him in what felt like years, and Davey knew that it was all Race’s fault. He dreamt that he had actually taken Race up on his offer and met him in the bedroom. The Race in his dream didn’t even hesitate before yanking Davey’s pants down and working him till he was hard. Then his mouth was on him and it was everything Davey ever imagined it would be. He lasted longer in the dream than he was sure he would in real life.

Davey didn’t actually think he’d come in real life but there he was, sitting disgruntled on the couch with a mess in his pants. 

The only place to wash was in the bedroom. There was a bucket like how the boys had in the lodging house to bathe themselves. They weren’t rich enough to have those newfangled needle baths, but Davey knew they were just lucky to have a bucket. The problem with the bucket being in the bedroom was that Race was in there. And Davey would also have to get up in order to get there. Spot and Albert were pretty light sleepers. Hell, they all were. Living on the streets, or in Davey’s case a poorish neighborhood in a rinky dink house, did that to you. If Spot and Albert woke up, they’d get mad that Davey had woken them and then ask him why he was up in the first place. Davey didn’t want to deal with that.

Davey briefly considered going back to sleep. It was only about 6:30 in the morning according to the pocket watch Katherine got him for his birthday last year, so he still had a couple hours till he had to be up and about. But now that he was awake and painfully aware of the mess in his pants, every minute shift of the fabric alerted him to the stickiness of his undergarments. He knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep until he got cleaned up. Repressing a sigh, Davey slowly stood up. He did his best to keep his feet from dragging across the floor, and at such an early hour it was hard for him not to. He also did his best to keep his legs from touching. Whenever they touched they would stick together and Davey hated that feeling. 

By the time Davey had waddled his way to the bedroom door, Davey’s urgency almost outweighed his fear that the boys would wake up and catch him. Almost. He had made it all the way to the door without waking up Spot or Albert but the realization that he might wake up Race when he opened the door made him freeze. Davey felt the need to face palm himself. Surely when Davey unzipped his pants it would wake Race up. In fact, Davey just opening the door would probably wake Race up. 

Davey quickly looked over his shoulder when he heard someone shift behind him. Without focusing enough to tell who it was, Davey pushed open the bedroom door and went inside. Once the door was closed, he leaned against it trying to will his heartbeat to slow down. Trying to control his breathing, Davey looked to see if Race had woken up. Race was curled in the blanket laying on his side. The bed was tucked in the corner and Race’s back was to him. Slowly he walked over to the bucket that was opposite the bed and looked in it. 

None of them bathed every day. It was hard work carrying up enough water to fill the bucket. And much to Davey’s chagrin, unlike how it was when he was growing up, they had to share the same water. Davey let out a frustrated noise. He was tempted to throw a fit. To stomp his feet and wave his arms and complain about his situation. He couldn’t bathe because one, he’d have to get naked in the same room where Race was sleeping. That was a no-go. And two, the water was pretty clean and he wasn’t about to go dirty up the bathing water with dried cum. That wouldn’t be fair to the other boys, especially since they weren’t changing out the water till tomorrow. Davey crouched down on his heals and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes and tried not to let the frustration get to him. 

“Dave?” Davey snapped his head up and looked towards the bed. Race was sitting up rubbing his easy looking as confused as ever. “Davey? What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night.” 

Davey stayed in his crouched position. “I-I know. I just, um. You see I…” Davey didn’t know how to finish his sentence. Dave froze when Race stood up and made his way to Davey. He crouched in from of him. His face was full of concern. 

“Did you have a bad dream or somethin’?” Race asked. Davey shook his head, blushing. He very much did not have a bad dream. He had a very good dream. One of the best dreams of his life, in fact. And now he was paying for it. “Then what is it?” Race’s eyes scrutinized Davey’s face when suddenly they went wide. “You know I was joking when I said I could do stuff to you right? It wasn’t a serious offer.” Race tried to let Davey down gently and all Davey could do was squeeze his eyes shut. Of course he knew that! But how could he tell Race it’s because of that offer that he needed to come in here anyway? Davey hadn’t really thought it through too much and he was seriously regretting it. 

Davey decided to go with the truth. It couldn’t hurt, right? Honesty’s the best policy, after all. “I had a dream about you doing what you offered to me,” Davey said slowly. Race cocked an eyebrow. 

“Did you, now?” Race didn’t say it in a teasing way or a suggestive way. He simply said that as if it was a fact. 

“I did. I just wanted to come in here to clean up. I-I couldn’t go back to sleep, but I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m so sorry!” Davey’s face felt hot. He wasn’t sure if Race could tell, they didn’t really use candles in the apartment and their building didn’t have electric light. 

Race stood up and made his way to the door. “There’s a washcloth on the towel horse. Use that to wash up, and I’ll grab you some new pants and underthings. Knock lightly on the door when you’re done.” 

Race left and Davey was left with his own company. Without thinking too much, Davey pulled off his bottoms before realizing that he should have probably grabbed the wash cloth first. Slightly more comfortable that he had been before, Davey walked over to the towel horse. He grabbed the washcloth and turned back to the makeshift tub. Davey sighed. They didn’t have soap this week. Albert had left it at the bottom of the tub last week and since he was the last one to bathe, the soap got thrown out with the dirty water. They had more than enough money saved up to go buy more soap, but they also had priorities. They didn’t have time to go buy more soap and quite honestly there were more important things to spend money on. 

Davey begrudgingly dipped the cloth into the cold water and started to clean himself off. 

~~~

Later that day, after work was over, Davey went to go meet up with Jack. Davey wasn’t sure if Jack was gonna show considering he’s got a new baby now, but Davey was trying to be optimistic. Davey would even be happy if all Jack talked about was the baby if it simply meant that Jack would be there.

It was a quiet evening in Jacobi’s Deli and for once Davey wished it was packed. Usually he would have to wait to get a table or wait for Jack to come in and slide money to the host in order to get a seat, but tonight Davey had no trouble getting seated. The only other people in the restaurant were a couple of newsies, an elderly couple, and three bored looking waiters. Davey sat down, left alone to his thoughts. If the place were crowded, then the buzz of conversation could distract him. Instead, Davey was left in his own head thinking about the disaster that had happened that morning. 

Once Davey was clean, he had knocked on the door and Race had given him his clean pair of pants. Once he was dressed, Race had asked Davey if he wanted to talk about what had happened. Of course Davey didn’t want to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to go back to bed. Davey had been afraid that if he went back to sleep, he’d end up back in the same situation- waking up to find himself with a mess in his pants and needing to wash up again, so Davey agreed to talk. 

Davey hadn’t gone into detail about what had happened in his dream. Race had already known the basics and talking about it made Davey uncomfortable. Instead, Davey changed the subject and asked Race how long he had known he was queer. Race said he thinks he had known it all his life. He never liked girls the way other guys seemed to and one day it dawned on him that maybe it was because he was like those queer fellas he kept hearing about. 

Davey asked if Race remembered when he was really sure he was queer. One day, after hanging around this guy for a few months, Race said, he realized he had feelings for him. There wasn’t much to the story only that Race had learned the hard way that his friend was not okay with queers, but when Race told the guy about his crush, the guy had promised not to turn him in- for the sake of their friendship. But after that conversation, Race never saw him again. Race had been heartbroken, but it was around that time that he had started selling at Sheepshead. Spot hadn’t been so keen on Race selling in his turf, but Race found out some dirt of Spot, so Spot let Race keep selling in Brooklyn so long as he never told Spot’s secret. After that, he wasn’t so heartbroken anymore. 

Davey tried to get Race to spill what the secret was, but Race said the only reason he and Spot are even still friends was cause Race had never told anybody the secret. And Race said that he’ll never tell anybody as long as lived, cross his heart. Davey had no choice but to accept that. 

Eventually, Davey and Race had fallen asleep while talking. Usually Davey was the first one up in the morning and it was his unspoken job to wake up the others. Because Davey had been up late, the others hadn’t been woken up. Albert had burst into the bedroom screaming at Race to wakeup cause Davey was gone and it was unlike him to do that and something must be wrong and they were all late for work before he realized that Davey was in bed with Race. Needless to say, Albert was shocked. 

Davey and Race had scrambled to try and explain to him what happened before he got the wrong idea when Spot had wandered into the room, bleary-eyed and confused. He took one look at the scene and his whole face dropped. Davey was surprised to see that Spot didn’t look angry or disgusted, he looked sad and confused. When Davey looked over at Race, he saw that he was breathing hard and he looked just as upset as Spot did. Spot had quickly turned out of the room and Davey heard the front door slam shut. Race sat back on his heels and stared down at the blanket. Davey didn’t know what was happening, so he slowly got up and pulled Albert out of the room. 

Shutting the door behind him, he could hear Race choke back a sob. He asked Albert if he knew what that was all about, but Albert didn’t have a clue and instead turned on Davey and asked why he was in bed with Race. Davey lied and told him that Race had a nightmare and that he was just trying to comfort him till he fell back to sleep. It had been too early in the morning, Davey said, and he ended up falling asleep too. Then Davey reminded Albert that they were late for work and not only did that get Albert moving, but Davey suddenly realized that shit they really were late for work. Davey raced to get his shoes on and not even five minutes later, he and Albert were out the door on their way to a hectic and disastrous day at work. 

The only think that kept Davey going through the day was the fact that he and Jack met up Wednesday evenings for dinner. Well that and the fact that he didn’t want to go home and face Race and Spot. Davey felt bad about leaving Race at home when he was upset and he didn’t think Race would want to see him. He also didn’t want to face Spot after what he must have thought happened between him and Race. Davey was almost scared that he’d get home and find some Brooklyn boys waiting to bust his head in for being queer. 

Davey was so lost in his own head that he hadn’t realized that Jack had slid into the chair across from him. Jack saying his name almost had him falling out of his chair in fright. 

“Woah, Dave. Didn’t mean to startle you,” Jack chuckled. “What were you thinkin’ about then, huh? You were pretty lost in thought,” Jack said as he took a sip of the water that Davey just noticed was there. 

“Oh, uh, work didn’t go so well today. I overslept, and everyone was late. It was all my fault,” Davey said. He skimmed over the day's evens. Davey reasoned that if he told Jack what happened, he would somehow figure out that Davey was queer. If Jack knew Davey was queer, then he probably wouldn’t want to be friends with him anymore. And while Davey wished he and Jack were more than friends, the idea of Jack hating him and wanting nothing to do with him broke Davey’s heart more than thinking that he and Jack would never be together. 

“That’s rough, pal,” Jack said, apologetically. “Hey, I know what’ll cheer you up,” Jack said, eyes alight with excitement. Davey knew exactly what that mean. He was gonna talk about the baby. “We picked out a name for the baby. We argued a lot about it, but I think you’ll like it.” 

It took everything Davey had not to roll his eyes. He knew he was being stupid- for hating a baby because it was the lovechild of the person he’s and love with and his best friend. But Davey couldn’t help but feel anything but hate and annoyance at the baby’s very existence. At least when Jack and Katherine didn’t have a child- back before Kath was even pregnant, Davey could pretend that when he and Jack were out on Wednesday nights, that it was a date. They rarely talked about Katherine on Wednesday nights but then she became pregnant and for the past nine months Davey was brought intimately into the world of Jack and Katherine Kelly. Everything from how Kath’s eating habits had changed to the nights when she wouldn’t let Jack hold her all the way to the nights where Kath wanted everything Jack could offer her. And by everything, Davey meant everything. Jack spared Davey no details on how needy Katherine could be, sexually. He didn’t tell him everything they did, but if there was one thing Jack was good at it was painting pictures.

It had gotten to a point that Davey was caught between wanting to stay home Wednesday nights to avoid Jack’s stories to wanting to drag himself out of the apartment despite the stories because it meant that he still got to see Jack. But Davey wasn’t as strong as he wished he was, therefore, he never missed a Wednesday night meet up with Jack. 

“Oh, yeah?” Davey asked. “What’d you name him?” 

Jack’s eyes went soft and he got this look in his eyes that made Davey’s heart flutter. It was that very look that used to make Davey think he had a chance with Jack. It was a look full of adoration and love and ease that now made Davey’s heart feel heavy in his chest because even if it was those things Jack would never act on it. He was with Kath. They had a baby. And Jack was about tell Davey’s its name. 

With those soft eyes and a shy smile, Jack told him the baby’s name. 

David. 

They had named the baby David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else is totally in love with Mamma Mia 2? I've already seen it twice and I've got plans later this week to see it again! It was so so so good! I've literally had Super Trouper stuck in my head since Thursday and somehow I'm not sick of it. 
> 
> Also, I feel totally stupid that I didn't realize that Stellan Skarsgård is Bill Skarsgård's dad. Like, duh, they have the same last name and I don't think it's a very common one. Plus I knew that their family is full of actors. I feel so dumb lol
> 
> Is anyone going to see Newsies while it's back in theaters??? I'm super excited to go see it again! #Newsiesforever am i right?
> 
> Anyway, enough with all the babbling, thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not getting this chapter up sooner. Now that I have it done, I have a better idea of where I want the story to go. I have all these ideas in my head and now I just need to make to time to get them all written out. If there's any grammatical errors please please let me know.  
> Trigger Warning: This chapter vaguely mentions suicidal thoughts and depression.  
> Thanks for the patience and here's chapter 3!
> 
> Enjoy :)

Davey was glad it was his night to sleep in the bedroom. When Jack told him that he and Katherine had named the baby David, he had been completely overwhelmed. After that, Jack and Davey hardly said a word to each other- sitting in a comfortable silence for almost an hour before Jack asked about Les and the rest of the boys.

Now that Davey was alone and had time to process everything, he realized that he had probably been in a slight state of shock. But once that passed, Davey realized he felt lighter. There had been a spring in his step as he walked to his apartment in the dark. He hardly even processed the walk home. Usually he would stay in lit areas and be vigilant of his surroundings, but he hardly paid any mind as to where he was going. It was a wonder how he even made it home in one piece. 

The change in Davey’s attitude had not gone unnoticed. His roommates all gave him weird glances when he got home and they all looked mildly concerned. It had been a while since any of them saw Davey that happy, he knew. But he just ignored their stares and went to the room needing to lie down. There had been too much excitement that day and Davey still couldn’t understand what he was feeling. 

As lay in bed, he could almost imagine that he was floating on clouds or that he was a bird drifting free in the wind. 

The fact that Davey had enough influence in Jack’s life that he would name his firstborn child after him of all people gave Davey an immense sense of pride and security. 

Pride in that Jack chose him out of all his friends to name his child after- out of people who he had known for years long before even meeting Davey. And security, because even though Davey felt that his friendship with Jack was sometimes nonexistent, this just proved how much Davey meant to Jack and that their friendship wasn’t going anywhere. 

Davey had almost drifted off to sleep when there was a quiet knock at the door. 

“Yeah?” Davey croaked out. 

“Davey, it’s Race. Can I come in?” 

Davey didn’t give any thought when he told Race that it was okay if he came into the room. He was half asleep and struggling to keep his eyes open. Yet he allowed Race to come into the room. And if Davey were more awake, he would have been surprised that Race sitting on the edge of the mattress- that he had wanted to speak to Davey at all considering what happened. But there Davey was, huddled up against the wall, trying to keep himself away from Race. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Race asked after sitting in silence for almost ten minutes. 

Davey felt his body stiffen first before relaxing as he thought about the reason he had been so happy. The reason he was still so happy. He couldn’t help the little smile the crept onto his face. 

“Yeah, Race,” Davey said, “I’m great.” 

Race nodded, but he didn’t look to convinced. “Okay,” Race replied shortly. 

After a couple more seconds of silence Race hesitantly asked why Davey was so happy. “Finally got laid, did ya?” Race tried to pass it off as a tease, but Davey could see the desperation for an answer piercing through his eyes. 

Davey almost laughed. 

“No,” Davey shook his head. “I didn’t get laid.” 

Race almost looked relieved. Though, he didn’t understand why exactly. They weren’t courting and from what Davey could gather, now that he knew Race was queer, Race and Spot seemed like they had something going on. Why would Race be personally invested in his sexual endeavors? It had only been a day since he and Race found out about each other. 

“Then what is it?” 

Davey rested his head on the wall behind him. “Jack and Kath named their kid David,” he said softly. 

“They did, huh?” Davey was surprised that Racetrack didn’t seem more, well, surprised. Davey voiced his thoughts. 

“Well of course they’d name him after you,” Race said as he rolled his eyes at Davey’s apparent daftness. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Davey asked, genuinely curious. 

“You’re Jack’s best friend. It just makes sense,” Race said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Yeah,” Davey said, “But you don’t just name your kid after anyone.” 

Race heaved a sigh. “What aren’t you gettin’ Dave? You ain’t just anyone to Jack. You mean the world to him. Hell, if it were legal, I swear he’d have married you instead of Katherine, the way you two get along.” 

“Ya really think so?” Davey asked. He didn’t think so himself, but if Race did, well maybe he had a chance. 

“Yeah Dave, I really do.” Davey let out a breath. Race had such a sincere and intense look in his eyes that Davey wanted to cry out of happiness. Then after a second, he wanted to cry out of guilt. Jack is married to Katherine. They have a baby together- baby David. Jack, Katherine, and David Kelly. 

David Kelly. Damn it. 

Davey wiped the tears that sprung out of nowhere, frustrated that he was jealous of a baby who had Davey’s dream name. David Kelly, that could have been Davey’s name- if he took Jack’s name. If they could get married. If Jack even had feelings for him in the first place. But instead Jack and Kath named their baby after Davey and while Davey was touched by the sentiment he just realized how much it would haunt him. The name would be a constant reminder of what he wanted so desperately but couldn’t have. Now that stupid heavy feeling that had been following his around since the strike, that had seemed to finally disappear, settled back into his heart in a much deeper place, and Davey wanted to scream. 

After taking a moment of gathering his thoughts, Davey was surprised at how long it was taking Race to comfort him. Davey opened his eyes to take a quick look over at Race. 

Race looked sad. He had this far away look in his eyes as he stared at his feet. Davey knew what he was probably feeling. Sad. Alone. Empty. Useless. Hopeless. Basically and sort of negative and self-deprecating emotion that one could feel could be the answer to what Racetrack Higgins was feeling in that exact moment. And Davey had felt every single one of the emotions in waves over the past four years. Sometimes he felt all of them at the same time to a point where he wanted to throw himself off the Brooklyn Bridge just to stop the thoughts. But he never did it. He couldn’t do that to his family or to his friends. And with time things got easier to handle. He’s been able to identify what he had been feeling and how to work through them. 

He didn’t know how intense Race’s emotions were, but if Race would let Davey help him sort out whatever was going on in his brain, he’d sit with him day and night till the figured it out. Davey didn’t have someone that was there for him in that way- Davey had never told anyone about what he was feeling. He knew that he was lucky that he had figured out a way to work out his thoughts and emotions in a healthy way and that he had done it on his own. But Davey knew not everyone could do that. So, despite his initial intent to keep far away from Race, Davey slowly moved so he could sit next to him. 

Davey said Race’s name softly. Race barely even blinked. 

“Race,” Davey tried again. This time, Race squeezed his eyes shut and a tear slid down his cheek. 

Davey tried to say everything he wished someone had said to him when he was going through these sort of feelings. He needed to help his friend. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know if this morning had something to do with how you’re feeling, but I’m here if you want to talk about it. I’m here for you, Race.” Davey placed his hand on Race’s and waiting for any sort of response. 

After a few seconds, Davey felt Race turn his palm upwards and he held onto Davey’s hand. 

“I had been seein’ someone- a fella,” Race whispered. “He found out you and me were in bed together and wouldn’t listen to me when I said nothin’ happened. After you guys left for work, I eventually got up and I went to go find him. I wanted to try and explain what happened. Instead we ended up arguing and I blurted out how you and me kissed.” 

Davey sucked in a sharp breath. This was his fault. He was the one who kissed Race. “He punched me in the eye and said he never wanted to see me again,” Race choked back a sob. “I went to Jacobi’s and spent the rest of the day there. I never showed up for work. Before I came home, this guy I work with went to Jacobi’s for an early dinner. He said that I shouldn’t bother showin’ up to work tomorrow. The boss was real angry.” 

Davey felt horrible. If he hadn’t let his stupid young adult hormones get in his way, then Race wouldn’t be in this mess. 

“Race, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” Davey felt like crying himself. Race, who was mister bravado who was always smiling and loud and slightly obnoxious was sobbing over losing his fella and his job because of Davey. 

“Hey,” Davey said gently. “There are plenty of other better jobs out there. Working in a factory is dangerous and it’s not worth the risk. Maybe you can ask Mr. Jacobi if you could work at the deli? I’m sure he’d like an extra hand,” Davey suggested. 

Race sniffled. “Maybe.” 

“Hey, how come I didn’t see you at the Deli? Wednesday’s is when Jack and I meet up,” Davey asked. 

“I left ‘cause I knew you would be there. I wasn’t ready to face you,” Race replied. Davey nodded. He understood. If he himself hadn’t have been in such a great mood coming home, he would have been ridden with anxiety at the thought of seeing Race and Spot. 

Spot. 

“Race, is Spot the fella you’ve been seeing?” Davey asked slowly. 

Davey could feel Race tense up and he pulled his hand away from Davey. 

“Is that what Spot’s secret it? That he’s queer?” Davey knew he was probably crossing a line, but he had to know. 

Slowly, Race nodded. 

“I’ll try to figure out a way to help you guys, I promise.” Race quickly stood up and left the room. Davey was left alone in with the echo of his promise ringing through his ears. He probably could have handled that differently, but it was too late to do anything about it now. Davey lied back down and started to think of a plan to get Spot to talk to Race. He had never seen Race so distraught and upset. And he had never seen that kind of hurt on Spot’s face before. He needed to fix this. He needed to fix this fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of doing a one shot of Race trying to find Spot and everything that went down with them in detail. Also, I could give more background on their relationship and how it's developed and changed over the years. As much as I'd like to make a proper story out of it, I'm having trouble keeping up with the ones I've already got going on. But if anyone's interested in a one shot like that, let me know!
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> To all my fellow Fansies out there, is this something I should continue? I'm okay with leaving it where it is, but I could definitely continue it. If I were to continue it I think I would try to turn it into Sprace but idk. Let me know what you guys think.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
